9/11

I was reading another friend's blog about her memories and feelings of September 11, 2001. It reminded me of how it felt that day listening to the radio and waiting for every tiny new detail. I feel like that was my generation's Pearl Harbor. I can still feel the shock I felt that morning. I was on my way to work and stopped at a stoplight. I punched the power button on the radio and the voice was saying that planes had hit the Twin Towers. I thought it was a movie advertisement. The next part happened in slow motion: I glanced left and noticed the man in the car next to me. His mouth was hanging open in shock and he was shaking his head. At the same time, the voice on the radio said the station name and that this was a special announcement. The Twin Towers in New York City had just been hit by airplanes. No other information was available.

The light turns green and the cars start moving. I couldn't get to work fast enough. Those of you who worked with me at Boulevard Home Furninshings during that time will remember that everyone was gathered around the big screen TV in the middle of the store. No one spoke. We just watched. And then the towers fell.

What a scary and out of control day that was. Everyone was in a daze. No one knew what to think. Everyone seemed to know someone who was flying that day. There were about five of us in the office who were young, newly married women. I remember the older people telling us that we would surely go to war and that the draft was coming. Would they send our husbands to fight? I also remember the terror we felt every time they announced that an airplane wasn't landing or wouldn't respond to controllers. Most of them were false alarms...and then they weren't.

The Pentagon. The pentagon, too? It was surreal. This was something out of a movie. I just wanted to go home and be with Jade. I wanted to understand what was happening. For my entire life I had believed that I would never see an act of war in my own country. The Gulf War hit close to home, but this was closer. And then Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I remember thinking that itmust just be a rumor, until I saw pictures of that one, too. Too much, now. I was "for real" scared. Not just scared because everyone else was and it was the appropriate emotion for the situation. This was real and I didn't understand it. And we were all at work and we couldn't call our loved ones and we couldn't make sure everyone was okay. I think those feelings lasted a year.

On 9/11/2002 we all watched the footage again and realized how we had triumphed over adversity. We took a breath and realized we are the United Stated of America, and if nothing else, we have that in common. As strong as my fear was, my patriotism was stronger.

Yesterday, I was prepared to talk about what happened on 9/11. I wasn't prepared NOT to talk about it. I must have spoken to two hundred people yesterday and not one person wished me a happy Patriots Day. No one wore a flag on their lapel. No one said, "Wow, has it really been eight years?" Was I the only one who felt like this was an important day in American history? I hope not. I hope we never forget what happened on 9/11/01, and I hope we never forget who we are and what we stand for!

My Love for Him is Not of This World

It is exactly 12:57 a.m. I am still awake because the Love of My Life and Life of my Love is coming home and I want to see him the minute he walks through the door. I want to look at him and and smile and welcome him home because he has been gone from me for a week. A whole week! Almost unbearable. Almost, because I visited him for a few hours before I had to rush back home to work.

So I will wait here by the door until he comes home. He'll walk in carrying a sleeping child, hurry past me to put said child in bed, then come back for a kiss and a hug. I'll hug him back as hard as I can so that he knows I really, REALLY love him. He'll ask why I'm still up, and I'll rub his velcro-y head and ask if he lost his razor in Cane Beds. He'll laugh, kiss me again, and go get the other two bebes out of the car. Everyone will be tucked into bed and when we wake up we will be a whole family again. No more staying up waiting for Prince Charming to return, because I will not let him leave me again for a VERY long time.

I saw this on someone else's blog and thought that it perfectly describes how I feel about Jade:

"My love for him is not of this world. It can't be broken by anything, not by any worldly ideas of what love is. Not by death. Nothing. Love is Godly, God is love. And we are his children. Our bond will carry us to the eternities and beyond. Its not cheesy, its the truth."

Family Pictures

We decided, on the spur of the moment, to hurry and do family pictures before Jade leaves for San Francisco. Oh, did I mention that my boyfriend will be gone ALL SUMMER?!? Jade's got a job installing alarm systems for APX, so he and our bro-in-law, Sam, are heading to SanFran on May 2nd. I miss him already! Anyway, Jade really wanted to take some pictures of us with him, so we threw together a quick self-portrait session and I have to say that I am really proud of how the pics turned out! I'm amazed, too, because I only took 13 shots (I usually do 300 to 600 during a session). The kids (and SkinnyButt Jade) were cold, so we had to hurry. You can tell how cold Gabe was by the goofy look on his face. I was a little bummed about that, but on the other hand it totally shows his personality, so now I love it!

99 COOL MOM THINGS

Post this list on your blog and bold the ones you've done.

1. Felt the world shift and change when you held your newborn baby.
2. Thought, "Hey, they didn't tell me about this when I got pregnant."
3. Given away perfectly good pants because they just don't seem to zip up anymore
4. Walked around with snot on your shoulder and pretended it's normal
5. Wrestled with a car seat and won
6. Cursed the makers of really loud annoying toys
7. Rocked your baby until she fell asleep, and then kept rocking anyway.
8. Gained superhero kissing powers-- you kiss it, it's okay.
9. Learned the art of counting to three, in a loud, patient voice
10. Avoided swearing like a pirate when a small child stepped on your bare feet with heavy-heeled princess shoes (NOPE!)
11. Dressed up as a butterfly and floated magically around the room with blanket wings
12. Made a tent out of blankets and chairs and crammed your really large body into it.
13. Learned you really aren't a patient person, but tried to work on it.
14. Listened to really bad, heartfelt, vibrato out-of-control, children's music that for some reason your children love.
15. Succeeded in doing an awesome hairstyle on a squirming, uncooperative child.
16. Decided that bribery really does do the trick.
17. Read a Parenting book and thought, "Do they even have children?"
18. Gotten nothing but lessons in patience and enduring to the end from the past 3 years of church
19. Allowed others to think you're crazy as you drive down the road doing the actions to "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed."
20. Smiled and managed not to punch the people without children who give you advice on how to discipline them.
21. Pitied the pioneers, who didn't have movies/television.
22. Thought sadly about landfills, but put it out of your head by remembering what dunking poopy cloth diapers in the toilet is like.
23. Managed to get the grocery shopping done with one or more children in tow.
24. Put yourself in time out.
25. Given up career opportunities, wistfully, but gladly.
26. Thought, "This is so worth it. I have the best job ever."
27. Thought, "This is so not worth it. I quit." But woken up and fixed breakfast and taken care of the kids anyway.
28. Heard your child say, "I love you so much!"
29. Watched with delight as your child lurches around the room with their first dinosaur-like steps.
30. Ignored your dirty house to play ponies.
31. Taught a child to use the potty. (And wanted to start an ad campaign with signs posted above every public toilet that read, "If you can use this, thank your mother.")
32. Tried a home business to make just a little extra money
33. Actually sewn something, that turned out pretty good if no one looked too closely
34. Played the choo-choo or airplane game to try and convince your child that food is not evil.
35. Slipped, tripped or twisted on a left out toy
36. Fished pennies/small toys/anything small out of your child's mouth, while keeping the panic at bay.
37. Lost brain cells while watching a Baby Einstien movie
38. Wondered where the instruction manual is.
39. Thought that you could improve upon the baby design model by adding three lights on the side of each baby-- one for hungry, one for tired, and one for poopy.
40. Listened with chagrin as your child repeats your favorite adjectives.
41. Crept into their room at night, just to make sure the covers are on and that they're still breathing.
42. Thought while breastfeeding, "No wonder people get breast implants. My shirts actually fit." (!!!)
43. Laughed out loud at the optimistic "6 weeks after birth prognosis" by your male doctor. (STILL LAUGHING!!)
44. Learned that you really aren't a pleasant person with only 2 hours of sleep.
45. Tried to explain why clothing is mandatory.
46. Had to eat your words because, "I would never do it that way," but then you do. (Yeah, Big time)
47. Called Poison Control.
48. Left the store without buying anything because your child is screaming. (Nothing gets in the way of my shopping)
49. Had to apologize to a stranger.
50. Wanted to petition that handicap stalls also be available to mothers with 2 or more children under the age of 6.
51. Said, "That's not funny," when really, if you weren't the parent, it was funny.
52. Felt extreme anger at another child when they hurt your child.
53. Cleaned up throw up more times than you wish to count.
54. Eaten a soggy cracker. (On accident, and I'm gagging at the memory!)
55. Thought sadly of hungry people as you scrapped your child's uneaten food into the garbage.
56. Threatened to do something awful (and untrue) like leave your child at WalMart, or cut off their toe if they didn't stop misbehaving.
57. Even though you vowed never to say it, yelled, "Because I said so."
58. Not left the house for three or more days.
59. Discussed buying stock in paper towels, wipes and diaper companies.
60. Conversed with other adults about poop, drool, and snot. (SOOO sorry!)
61. Thought, "My gosh. My children are the most adorable things in the entire world."
62. Smiled when your kids hugged each other.
63. Thrown away Halloween candy (after fishing out all the chocolate bars).
64. Realized the true use of a timer is not for baking.
65. Thought, "Isn't there at least some period of their lives where they adore me and listen to what I say?"
66. Cried and cried, because you feel like you're just not cut out for this sort of thing.
67. Felt triumphant when your child spelled their name without prompting to your now impressed neighbor/relative/friend.
68. Put on boots, coats, hats, gloves and snow pants and just as you're walking out the door hear a rumbling from your child that indicates severe diaper problems, or having your older child say, "I have to go to the bathroom."
69. Realized that children's books are sometimes written for adults.
70. Had to remind yourself not to talk in a sing-songy, supercalm happy voice when speaking to other adults.
71. Sometimes the only constant in your day is that it will eventually end.
72. Discovered that a really childproof room is empty and padded and only exists in insane asylums.
73. Had to backpeddle quickly when you told your child not to do something and they said, "But Mommy, you do it."
74. Dug out a sliver
75. Been ignored. Over and over.
76. Felt that if you get touched one more time you might have to become a hermit.
77. Laughed (with just a bit of hysteria) at the magazine picture of well-behaved children that put together beautiful crafts.
78. Gotten an unexpected kiss and a hug.
79. Had your heart melt when you hear, "Hold me, hold me."
80. Cleaned up a blow out diaper, and managed to salvage the onesie.
81. Thought, "Oh, my parents were right."
82. Prayed really hard that you're raising them to be good, thoughtful, happy people.
83. Hoped they won't remember the time you accidentally dropped/forgot about them.
84. Hoped they will remember the times you read stories/sang/played with them.
85. Felt like the Wicked Witch of the West.
86. Given an Eskimo kiss.
87. Felt your heart strings tug when they first let go of your hand to venture off on their own.
88. Pretended you liked something just to get your kid to eat/do it.
89. Wore matching outfits with your kids and thought it was awesome.
90. Tried to keep the car nice by not allowing food, then gave up and tossed food randomly at your children in an effort to quiet them.
91. Heard your child yell excitedly, "Mommy!" when you walk into the room.
92. Caused extreme giggling (on purpose).
93. Vanquished a monster with a spray bottle.
94. Answered "Why?" questions with preposterous and crazy answers but still not managed to stop the "Why?"s from coming.
95. Bought a really padded bra for protection from elbows and other stray limbs
96. Played the, "I'm going to hide in the _____" version of Hide and Seek
97. Learned to traverse the kitchen with a small child clinging to your legs and the phone on your shoulder.
98. Told yourself, "This is for her good."
99. Known this is the best and hardest job in the world. (But wished for paid time off)